WIFE

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the following question...

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? would you get married again?" 

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!" 

WIFE: "Why not? don't you like being married?" 

HUSBAND: "Of course I do.." 

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" 

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again." 

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look) 

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)  

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?" 

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house." 

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" 

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?" 

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?" 

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new." 

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?" 

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do." 

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewellery?" 

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own." 

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?” 

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times." 

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?” 

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed." 

WIFE: -- Long silence -- 

HUSBAND: "Damn."